Visitor Monitoring

Questions To Ask Before You Get Tested

Hi y’all! I just pulled this off of alt.privacy, and this guy seems to have a good approach to company drug testing. Even if you end up peeing for them like a good boy or girl, this is a way you can make them think about what they’re doing, without appearing to be filthy lowlife drug-using scum.

If they’re going to turn this once-great country into an armed camp full of nosy, distrustful pee-sniffers, let’s at least make ‘em work for it!

I’m a computer consultant and have successfully fought the drug test question by reverse intimidation. I start asking questions that “they” aren’t prepared to answer.

  • What is the name and address of the lab that will perform the test?
  • Exactly what test or tests are to be used?
  • For each test performed, list the type and quantity of specimens required?
  • For each test performed, list the percentages for false positive and false negative results.
  • Provide statistical justification for these percentages.
  • In the case of a false positive, what are the established procedures for retesting?
  • How many times will retesting be permitted?
  • What is the established procedures for resolving consistent false positive results?
  • What facility is going to extract the specimen(s)?
  • How much of each type of specimen is going to be extracted?
  • Are the lab and the blood extraction facility bonded?
  • What company carries their malpractice insurance and what are their policy numbers?
  • Exactly what information will be release from the lab to the employer?
  • It is required that all results be forwarded to me.
  • The employer is required to pay all costs involved, including those if retesting is required.

By this time, any reasonable person will be thinking that maybe drug testing isn’t something in which they want to become involved.

I’ve thought of having a lawyer (or myself) prepare a “Request for Drug Test” form in proper legalese. Along with a paragraph swearing, under penalty of perjury that all information is complete and correct. So far, that hasn’t been necessary.

Posted by A. Shapiro
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